Warts & All

Today someone reached out to me to thank me for writing my book. This thank you struck me differently. They said that they’ve never felt they fit in with other “perfect” Christians. That in the body of Christ they’ve always imagined themselves a wart or a scar, still a part of the body, but an unsightly, embarrassing part that’s not really wanted. Through my story they started to see that all those “perfect” people around them maybe didn’t have as easy and perfect lives as they had imagined they did, and it was encouraging to them that maybe they weren’t a wart or scar after all.

I can relate to that feeling. I think most of us can relate to that feeling. This is exactly why I am so open, so vulnerable with my life. The strength of being vulnerable, is that it draws others out, it shows others that it’s okay to struggle, to fight, to be who they are. We walk around acting like we live these perfectly curated lives.

“Put your best foot forward”

“Put on a happy face”

“I never leave the house without mascara/lipstick/what-have-you”

“Smile, people are looking at us”

What is it that scares us so much about being human? It’s like we’ve transferred professionalism to our personal lives. I never want to be a robot of a person. I want to be who I am. Real, raw, unfiltered Sarah. I want to be genuine with not only myself but with those around me.

Because the truth is, none of us are warts or scars. What you are is precious. What you are is loved. What you are is valued and treasured. You may not see it. You might be reading these words and thinking “Sarah you just don’t know my life.” And maybe I don’t. Maybe under the sheen and veneer is a living, breathing mess of a life. But that doesn’t devalue who you are. The things you deal with, the things you fight every day, the lies you’ve been told, the negative things you believe about yourself, none of these things have to define you.

We are our harshest critics. Nobody judges me or speaks to me the way I do to myself. Why is it so much easier to look at someone else in my exact situation and extend grace and love, but when it comes to doing that to myself it’s near impossible? It’s because we don’t see the ins and outs of each other’s minds the way we do our own. We think “if only you REALLY knew.” But we do really know because we know the depths of our own minds. We aren’t as unique and different as we like to think we are.

Once you start opening up who you really are to people, they will do the same to you, and suddenly you’re relating on a whole new level, the level just beyond the perfectly curated into the world of the real and the messy. The most beautiful level of connection.

If there is one thing I could encourage you in, one thing I can pass on that I’ve learned from writing this book, it’s that while scary, opening yourself up and being vulnerable with others is ALWAYS worth it. It’s so, so worth it. Nothing pulls people out of their own fears and thoughts about themselves quite like being able to relate to another person in theirs. It’s freeing, thrilling, and the backbone of true relationship. So please, don’t be afraid to get real with people. Especially if you feel nobody can relate to you. I guarantee you that that is not true, and your eyes will be opened to a whole new world of relationship and community.